Sister, please

Hello!!!!
Whaddup from Cuzco, home of Incas, alpacas and lots of sad-faced Peruvian ladies carrying lambs. We've been here for just over a week now and last Monday our new travelling partner Alex arrived!!! The first few days we were hit by the horrible effects of altitude sickness and spent the entire time complaining about how sick we felt and how cold it is at night. Since Tuesday we have been volunteering in an orphanage called Elim Girls where there are 14 girls between the ages of about 4 and 17, mostly early teens. On our first day the girls were not unfriendly but not super open to us but we assumed this was completely normal as we had just arrived and they had never met us before. However, we found out that it was because that day there had been a lot of tension over some inter-girl drama (exact details a bit hazy) and the next night after the three of us came back from dinner we found that the girls had not only made us all pancakes but put on a whole show with several dance numbers and a guitar rendition of Wonderwall and written a big sign that concluded "I'm Zorry". That's right - they put on a song and dance show to apologise to us for being a tiny bit standoffish the day before. God knows what they would think if they came to London. Since then they have all been extremely welcoming, fun and energetic. Also, they call us Sister which makes us melt inside a little bit each time they say it.
We've spent most of our time at the orphanage helping with homework during the day, and playing cards with the girls in the evenings and watching Harry Potter before they go to bed. All the girls except for two (who are younger) have school until 1 every weekday so we have spent many pleasurable mornings exploring Cuzco and buying jumpers in the market. The two younger girls are called Zulema and Patricia and are around 4 and 7 although their exact ages are unknown as they were found abandoned on the streets in Lima. They are both absolutely adorable and so much fun to play with. Zulema is the younger one but has the eyes and manner of an older, worldly woman. She enjoys telling Rebecca off. Patricia is older and has downs syndrome but is so, so highly functioning and one of the most affectionate children I have ever met despite her lack of speech. All the girls are really lovely and have welcomed us so openly into their big, fun, slightly dysfunctional family.
On the weekend we did what everyone comes to Cuzco to do- visit Machu Picchu. Joined by Indi, we took the bus and train to Aguas Calientes, the town nearest to MP and spent several hours soaking in the amazing hot springs there. The next day we got up at 5am to do the two hour hike up to Machu Picchu. When asking our tour operator if this would be a difficult climb, they said "No it's fine, you're all young and fit". I don't think anyone will be offended when I say that on Sunday we were all reminded just how unfit we are - we took breaks every two minutes and Rebecca is still feeling the ache. However it was an amazing walk and made finally arriving there all the more impressive than if we had just taken the half hour bus journey. Almost immediately after arriving we set off to climb Wayna Picchu (pronounced Whine-a Picchu which is what we did while we were climbing), the mountain right next to Machu Picchu itself and another hour long hike. Getting to the top was unbelievable and made even better by the fact that we all took the opportunity to phone home while we were up there.
After having climbed back down the mountain (silently laughing at people who had only just started the ascent) we had about an hour until our guided tour of Machu Picchu. We ate our leftover snacks, drank lots of water and generally enjoyed not walking up or down steps for a bit. When our tour guide turned up (25 minutes late) we were given a walking tour of the 'lost city' complete with historical facts, photographs and very bad jokes. By the end of the 2 hour tour we were all absolutely exhausted, having been up since before sunrise (!!!!) and decided to take the bus down the mountain and treat ourselves to a huge, fairly pricey Italian meal. Eating was AMAZING. After eating we went back to the thermal baths and spent the next 3 hours soaking our aching legs.
So here comes the not so amazing part. After getting the train to Ollantaytambo (a town between Aguas Calientes and Cuzco), we arrived at the station at 11.30 to find out that there was not, as promised, a bus waiting to take us on the two hour journey back to Cuzco. We found the group that we had travelled with on the bus the day before but when we went to the bus with them discovered that our four seats had mysteriously been filled by four Peruvians who had not been there before. When we asked the woman co-ordinating the passengers (who had also travelled with us the day before) why we didn't have spaces, who these new people were and if she had confirmed that they were meant to be there she avoided the question and screamed at us to get off the bus. We called our tour operator several times and after receiving lots of evasive and unhelpful answers we realised that we were about to be left alone in the middle of the night in a completely deserted town with no way of getting home.
At this point there was only one coach left outside the station and we realised our only potential way of getting back would be to appeal to the driver's better nature by explaining our situation and begging him not to leave until we'd sorted out what we were going to do next. Luckily, and with the help of our tear filled eyes, he took pity on us and let us ride on the floor of the coach, along with 2 Peruvians, a Frenchman and a pregnant woman. It was the most uncomfortable ride of our lives and my back is still recovering now but at least we made it back unharmed and the tube in rush hour is going to seem  an absolute luxury when we get home.
Today is our last day at the orphanage and tomorrow we are heading off to Puno and Lake Titicaca for a few days before saying goodbye to Peru and crossing over to Bolivia! We will be very emotional to leave here but are excited for whatever is coming our way. Stay tuned!
xxx

When you´re out here in this jungle

Hello loyal followers
We are in lima at the moment mentally preparing ourselves for a 20 hour coach ride to cuzco after having arrived back here from iquitos last night. Never has the term traveller felt more apt.
We arrived in Iquitos, a town in northern peru bordring the jungle, on Sunday after perhaps the dodgiest plane experience of our lives which consisted of us making a planned stop en route which turned into a 2 hour wait whilst firemen were called out to fix our clearly malfunctioning plane and we were told not to panic as the pilot was simply ´making an indication´. What made it worse (for me) was that the only soft drinks we were given as compensation were coke (which rebecca was happy with but I hate) and inka kola which tastes like bubblegum and looks like wee. Mmm.
All we could really do was laugh at the situation (and pray that our plane wasnt going to explode) and people were remarkably patient, which either says something about peruvian character or peruvian airlines. We stayed in an Iquitos hostel for a night and then the next morning our jungle tour company (Paseos Amazonicos if anyone is interested, we highly recommend them!) picked us up and took us by boat to their lodge which was exactly how you would want a jungle lodge to be - all thatched roofs, buildings on stilts in the river and plenty of hammocks (there was also a cat that kept trying to come into our room/jump on us in the hammocks and two parrots). We first went to a "tourist presentation" by some of the indigenous people which to be honest was a little awkward. They were dressed up in the traditional grass skirts and clothing which they used to wear about a million years ago and the expressions on their faces were something along the lines of "i cant believe youre making me wear a grass skirt, you bastards". However there were some very cute kids there. And Mizz was amazing at dart blowing.
Next that day we went to visit the local shaman and were told by our guide all about the shaman lifestyle (basically taking loads of hallucinogenic drugs). The shaman looked in the face exactly how you´d expect; very few teeth and lots of wrinkles, but he was wearing a baseball cap which didn´t quite fit the traditional image. Our guide told us about how when he was a baby one of his legs had stopped working because it had come into contact with black magic and how he´d been cured by a shaman. After that we went to one of the local villages which like most of the surrounding communities was almost completely flooded. We met four adorable little girls who showed us what used to be their school playground - all swings and slides half submerged in water!
That night we went on a canoe ride in the dark which was amazing although quite frightening; we could hear all the different noises of the insects and also of this amazonian rat which makes a noise exactly like that creepy doll in Saw. The next day we went on another canoe ride through the heart of the jungle which was incredible and we came into very close contact with all kinds of bugs (nb: we are SO bitten. Without wanting to exaggerate mosquito bites on the soles of your feet are the worst thing in the world ever). That afternoon we went fishing and WE BOTH CAUGHT A FISH!!!! We ate them for dinner and they were yummy (if a little bony) and we are especially proud because a super macho guy staying in the lodge went fishing twice with a group of others to about four different places and none of them caught anything. Yay!
The next morning was our favourite of all as we visited an open air monkey sanctuary. As our boat pulled up to the little lodge it was suddenly covered in monkeys (6 different types live at the sanctuary) who we got to cuddle and play with for ages. They reminded us so much of the kids we babysit at home, they have exactly the same features as human children. Very cute if a little disconcerting. There was also a parrot living at the sanctuary, who really didn´t seem to enjoy being surrounded by monkeys, and a giant anaconda who, we later discovered, has previously bitten visitors. In retrospect it is probably better that we found this out afterwards as Rebecca is very scared of snakes.
After lunch (the food at the lodge was amazing) we went to a fish and alligator farm where we had on our right a big area of water full of pirhanas and on our left one area with alligators and another with the worlds largest fish which was terrifying and absolutely massive. Its called a paiche - google it. That night after the staff had gone to bed us and two guys who were staying there snuck some tequila from the bar (south america clearly bringing out the rebels in us!!!!!!) and sat on the deck discussing the afterlife, getting bitten to shreds but feeling happy and very gap yah. Our final excursion the next morning was a last canoe ride round and then a trip to another local village. We went into one of the schools there which was just a big room with desks ("where's costa?!" we cried) and the children in their pristine uniforms put our sweaty, dishevelled selves to shame. We were reassured to see that on the blackboard at the back of the room someone had drawn a penis in chalk - clearly some things are universal.
After lunch it was time to leave the jungle and we arrived sweaty and dirty at our Iquitos hostel only to find out that it had NO RUNNING WATER. We were quickly moved to another hostel and had the best showers of our lives (the water for the showers at the lodge had come straight from the amazon and was thus always cold). The next day we headed to the airport and arrived in good time for our 2.30pm flight only to find out that it had been changed to 4pm because the plane had not yet left lima. Within about 10 minutes of sitting at the airport we had succumbed to the airport bookshop´s terrible selection of English books and passed the time reading awfully written thrillers ´she checked caller id and knew at once who would be on the other end of the phone` ...
That´s basically all for now. Can´t wait to get this 20 hour coach journey over with. We´ve stocked up on doritoes, cheese strings and nature valley bars to help the time pass and are praying for good movies and quiet fellow passengers.
Lots of love to all (and a shout out to Meera Somji) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

That is so not kosher

Hey all,
Its been a fun and adventure filled few days for us. On wednesday morning we went to Huacachina, an amazing oasis in the middle of the desert - we were literally surrounded by huge sand dunes everywhere we looked. We had a 5 hour coach journey to get there which not only involved jazz/lounge covers of Beat It, While my guitar gently weeps and other classics being played on the tv system, an introductory video that reminded us that "the toilets on the bus are only for urinating. If you need to do anything else, please notify a member of staff so that we can stop somewhere" (this was then repeated via loudspeaker, very intrigued as to what terrible things people did in the bus bathrooms) but also showings of maybe the two worst films ever (one of them involved adam sandler in TWO roles...).
When we arrived in Huacachina we went on a dune buggy tour in the desert which was amazing if slightly scary and then we went sandboarding which is basically snowboarding but lying on your stomach and on sand, and then watched the sunset over the dunes. The next day we went on a tour of two of the local bodegas/pisco distilleries which were basically shacks on the side of the road but very amusing and the first one even had a discoteca! Our tour guide on the second tour also treated me to a spot of traditional peruvian dancing...with me. Photos to come, it was awkward.
On that day we also came back into our dorm to find that we were now sharing it with a peruvian family with two children. Not only did the smaller child have very noisy nightmares all night but the parents for some reason did not understand the concept of turning their phones off and we kept being woken up by them ringing (their ringtone was la bamba) and also by the ridiculously loud reggaeton from the nearby hostel. But hey ho.
Also mizz hurt her foot but its fine now.
The next day we went to Paracas for a two hour tour of the national reserve there which was beautiful and very impressive. We met the grumpiest Australian ever who kept complaining about how awful it is sleeping in hostels, how much he hates spending time travelling, how bad travelling in a group is and how he couldnt be bothered to learn any spanish and was now suffering. Please shout at us if we become like this.
After that we went back to Lima and went out with some of the israeli guys we had met a few days ago from our hostel. It was exactly what we had hoped for from latino nightlife; getting drunk and dancing as though we were south american to spanish music. The israelis were less impressed with the music ("why arent they playing hip hop? Im going to talk to the manager") but theyre very nice and we are already sad at the thought of saying goodbye to them tomorrow. Today we spent the day on the beach with them while they surfed and we ate amazing mangoes that we had bought off the street (hello soon to be food poisoning but so worth it).
Tomorrow we are flying to Iquitos to go to the amazon for four days!!!! So wont be in contact with anyone for a bit.
Lots of love
Mizz and lander xxxxxx

You are prawn

Greetings from two extremely sunburnt and happy travellers (yup thats right, we are calling ourselves that). While mizz got away with a slightly pink nose and shoulder, I resemble the (amazing) salmon sashimi we had for dinner last night (more on that later).
We spent yesterday walking around Lima and its beaches for about 5 hours during which we got veryyy lost, hence the burn, followed by a trip to the crafts markets here which are AMAZING - the same style kind of as a moroccan souk but much cheaper and less harrassment and more llama toys. We went back today and got new day rucksacks, an alpaca jumper (for me), pencilcases (for mizz) and bracelets, all for about 1p. With our new "hindu style" trousers the gap yah transformation is nearly complete. We fit in very well at the hostel. However, pretty much every taxi driver on the street sees that we are white (by which i mean pink) and assumes we need a cab.
Yesterday evening we played poker on the roof of our hostel, had our first pisco sours (which are amazing!!) and met our first israelis (weve already met more) and then went for dinner with an old friend of mine and his super friendly and super generous (rich) friends who took us out for some of the most amazing sushi ive ever eaten and then passion fruit pisco sours (also amazing).
Today after going back to the market we went to a seafood restaurant and shared two ENORMOUS plates of incredble ceviche which came to about 11 pounds in total. Definitely getting used to this. The 26 group long line for the restaurant was definitely worth it.

Sooo today whilst walking back from the restaurant the following encounter happened:

Random fat american man, walking up to mizz: You have a lot of hair
Mizz: I know, it gets really hot
Fat man: Have you ever considered shaving it off?
Mizz : Yes but Im worried I have a weird shaped head
Fat man: Can i touch it?
Mizz: No.
(Hot latina woman walks past, fat man very obviously checks her out and looks her up and down)
Fat man: Do you think she was cute?

We walk off and a few minutes later...

Fat man: I shaved off my hair and I think I have a funny shaped head, do you think it looks okay?


SO thats peru. They also have a brand of tuna called Fanny.

Love from Mizz and Lander xxxxxxx

Lima is in South America

Hey everybody,
So after about 17 hours of travelling we finally got to Lima at about 4am our time last night. It is reallllly hot (for some reason id been convinced that it would be raining all the time so quite pleased that this isnt the case) and our hostel is great albeit full of people with beards.
The title of this post comes from us getting off our connecting flight to Madrid and getting really confused about where we should go, telling the flight attendant where we were trying to get to and being answered with the above statement. good to know.
It was so exciting getting the cab into Lima (which, contrary to what wed been told, did not try and convince us that our hostel was full and take us to somewhere more expensive/where they could rob us) especially when Walk Like an Egyptian came on the radio. The buses here are so awesome, like little camper vans full of peruvians. Our area is really bustling and quite near the beach so we plan to do some exploring today.
More posting when weve actually done something other than sleep and have breakfast (sorry for the lack of punctuation in this post, i havent worked out how to find the apostrophe or the exclamation mark on this keyboard).
xxxxxxxxxx mizz and lander